I'm sure you have watched Superman as a kid or perhaps even now as an adult. Then, you know that Superman's power is his super human strength and of course you know, Kryptonite weakens him. Well, my superpower & my kryptonite are my emotions.
Emotional power as an actress allows me to feel everything, I feel the soaring of a bird in the sky. I feel the lines on the paper. In Acting, I am the character when I'm on. I've taken training to be more in tune with my emotions. It is what drives me in my career and in life. It is why some people are attracted to me and a very, very, very few are not.
I grew up singing through intermediate school and high school. Then I took a hiatus and started production studies. I directed my first project at my University, for GMU News. I also edited the broadcast. It was great. I loved the opportunity. It was part of the STARS program. Thank you to all my friends there.
Anyway, I digress. Where was I? Oh yeah. Emotions, My Power & My Kryptonite.
With my emotional superpower, I can tune in to people's emotions so much so that I take them on. So I've had to learn how to shield myself from them.
I always root for the underdog. At times I feel I am the underdog
when my emotional power is at odds with my Kryptonite. There are times where I can't turn it off
and I can't stop it from seeping through my entire being. It holds me like that red ray holding Superman back. I stay in it and I get weak. I get emotionally weak in all senses to the point where my body gets weak. I can't think. I can't move. I can't get up.
I'm learning to control my emotional power, slowly now. I try to walk away when I'm feeling weak, which is all the time. I sometimes wish I could shut it off completely. I didn't ask for this superpower. But since I have it, I wouldn't have it any other way. It is my #GIFT. I am THANKFUL for it. I have to use it, I need to use it. I need to express myself constantly.
Most importantly I've learned, with Great Power, comes Great Responsibility. (spidy sense)
Saturday, January 17, 2015
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
Chasing Your Dream
It is definitely challenging trying to make it in
Hollywood as an actor. But let
me tell you I have some awesome experiences.
In one day my journey takes me from pushing paper
or serving a plate of Salmon to Helen Hunt and Orlando Bloom, to shaking hands
with & giving 27 cents to a celebrity while in line at PC Greens, in Malibu (when I hardly have two dollars left to
my name).
I wake up early to make it from one audition in Pasadena, for a role as an insurance agent. I fight traffic, fight time and I fight nerves. When I get there I run in to find I'm there earlier than the production team. Finally, I audition before one person in a cold room. I run out to my car parked at a meter, I thank my lucky stars I didn't get a ticket, and head to Santa Monica while I'm running out of gas. At the same time I'm changing in the car to play a young mom. I somehow make it on time to the second audition. But it doesn't stop there. I have to head to work and let all that stress go for a different kind of stress.
Oh did I tell you I haven't eaten all day.
I wake up early to make it from one audition in Pasadena, for a role as an insurance agent. I fight traffic, fight time and I fight nerves. When I get there I run in to find I'm there earlier than the production team. Finally, I audition before one person in a cold room. I run out to my car parked at a meter, I thank my lucky stars I didn't get a ticket, and head to Santa Monica while I'm running out of gas. At the same time I'm changing in the car to play a young mom. I somehow make it on time to the second audition. But it doesn't stop there. I have to head to work and let all that stress go for a different kind of stress.
Oh did I tell you I haven't eaten all day.
Unless you come from money and your parents are
paying your way, most actors I know have to juggle four jobs to be able to chase
that dream. Most people that make it have parents in the industry and already
have a path paved just for them. It gets real. Some of my friends have lost their jobs due to an inflexible schedule which has no time for an actor trying to act on weekends or evenings. On top of this most non-union plays hardly pay any money
to help pay bills, and sometimes they don't even pay at all. Acting takes money.
Of course everyone believes they can act! In
America the general public hardly has respect for the art. In fact, I just had a conversation with
someone the other day telling me just this, “don’t take this the wrong way but
I think anyone can act.” I responded, “don’t take this the wrong way but
everyone that says they can, doesn’t know what acting is". (They don't know their act from a whole in the ground.”
Overseas there is so much more respect for the
art. Children get trained very young to have an acting career. That is why American movies have so many
British, Australian actors. I
really don’t understand why American studios are hiring so many foreign
actors. I know so many actors who
are good and deserve that job. Like me, for instance. Don’t be surprised by this statement. I live in America; I am going to be pro-American actors.
The best part of it all is that when you finally
make the decision to ACT. It is a difficult decision to make. You have to give up everything to chase your
passion. You get in debt and go
back to school for training. You
give up the job with a full time pay and benefits.
You give up luxury and get a cheaper car to bring down your monthly expenses. FINALLY, with eyes closed, you jump into the unknown abyss, with the hope that you’ll land on your feet. It is such a relief when you kind of "do" land. The duality that had been in the past is no longer there, you are finally a whole being. It just got real. It doesn't stop there. The best part of it all, and I mean this very sarcastically, life
decides to test you every step of the way. Life begins to throw you challenges, some of them are tough
to get over, (and I don’t think you can ever get over). But it keeps throwing them at you to
see if you really want it.
Your passion doesn’t
have to be mine. Whatever
that passion is, you can be sure it will be tested. Patience, stamina, tenacity, health, love, money, it will all be challenged. And I'm here to tell you, "don’t give up!
Keep at it, keep going, don't leave".
I truly truly, truly believe that you wouldn’t be tested if it weren’t the right path for you.
I truly truly, truly believe that you wouldn’t be tested if it weren’t the right path for you.
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