FREE FALLING

Well, no one understands the commitment it takes to be an actor in this town, unless you are an actor in this town.  I mean a serious actor - the struggle, the commitment, the sacrifice, the tenacity and the study.   I don't mean those actors whose parents paid their way for them to become actors, they are lucky, because acting does take money.

At times I sit in my car with my gas tank on empty driving to my audition.  The fact that I don't have money for gas is in my head, plus the anxiety that I'm running late, while the realization sets in that my GPS is taking me the opposite direction.

I arrive frantic, but as I go into that casting room I hug everyone.  "Hello, I'm here. OK, lets get started".   I read - and then it's over,  I say goodbye and leave the room.  I get back in my car and drive to the gas station hoping my 7 dollars in cash is enough to take me to visit a friend on the set of a film he is producing and acting in.

I mean, at least now I don't have the worry about the gas,  it's been replaced by the worry that I have less $7 in my account.  I go there and meet some wonderful people and have fun.

I'm not there begging for a part. I'm not desperate that I will do anything for a part (ha, ha).  In fact I didn't even want to really go there, but I am there, because I have a friend and if  I meet people I meet them, with no false pretense.  They know I'm an actress.  Just the fact that I live in LA and I'm in Hollywood basically screams "Actress".  I just told you the commitment it takes to be one. I can't now leave that passion at the door and forget about it.  It's a need, like the need to breathe. It's like that feeling you get when you are free falling.
No Guarantee.

This business is about networking, knowing people, but how can you get to know them when everyone thinks you want something from them. It's almost like they'll put up their dukes before you can say hello. But once in a while as an actor you have to stand up for yourself and say "enough"!  I'm not here for them to call me names, I'm not here because I want something from them.  I have something to bring and share with them and I also only desire to work with people I want to work with.  I love when people underestimate me.

Thanks for listening,

JC