Sometimes You Just Have to Go Through It!

I’m sitting home today, playing hooky from work.  Sometimes it feels nice to do nothing than lay around on my couch.  My head spins and spins asking myself if I should call someone, to do something, just to ask if there is something to do. Maybe I should call my neighbor and go to the pool. But all the hours of thinking if I should, I don’t. 

I turn on the telly and I binge watch all the movies that seem somewhat interesting.  I entertain the thought perhaps I’ve become a recluse, instead of the social butterfly I was not too long ago.  (And that is why I left my previous day-job because everyone required me to be outgoing and I didn’t want to.  It was too much for me. )

I chose another path, I chose to go to school and leave all the stability behind.  Some of my friends are now making $6500 and up income a month.  I’m making a small percentage in comparison.  It does sometimes bother me and it makes me wonder. 

I spent yesterday sleeping all day long and binge watched. Thank you Netflix. One day soon we will work on a project together. 

Today I’m basically doing the same.   I did manage to go out and meet a friend for lunch.  I bought my favorite desert.  Afterwards I thought about calling another friend, but I didn’t.  I drove straight home.  I used the "heat" as an excuse.  "It’s too hot to be out there driving in this heat," I excused myself. 

What is really keeping me in? Am I afraid to put myself out there, to take a chance in friendships? Maybe I’m afraid of getting hurt.

Acting is about that, putting yourself out there, every single day.  Stepping over, around, jumping, rolling however you need to get to the other side.  Being afraid to fail and still continue regardless of that fear.  You see a light at the end of the tunnel, just barely barely dimmed.  But the Actor continues, tenacity is what it requires daily. Finally, not really but probably, Dicipline.  

And sometimes a little pampering and laying around the house is just what one needs.  Perhaps I don’t need to question what I’m going through or poop on it.  I just have to go though it. Forgive myself for needing to rest.  Enjoy it, replenish my energy so I can do it again.  ACT. , jump over my fears.  

Or didn't you know I was an actress!